One thing we all have in common is when shit hits the fan and things begin to go wrong in our lives, all those life changes and character changes we were supposed to be making this year go straight out the window. Since starting to name my journey back in 2016, I knew I was going to need something to remind me about me, about what I wanted to achieve or just a mental self-love check. I needed it to be repetitive but not strenuous, enlighten but not draining I basically needed something that wouldn’t put me into an anxiety frenzy when thinking about me and my life. I came up with Reset, Reflect and Reconnect.
Every 3 months at the end of the month I take the last three days to rest, reflect and reconnect each category having its own day. I know what you’re thinking I said not strenuous and it’s not each day takes up about an hour of time depending on the time I have that day, could be longer or shorter. I do a total of 4 cycles of reset, reflect and reconnect, the last one being on the 2nd to last month of the year (November), lets break it all down.
Day one reset. I have to say this is my favorite day. The other days are great they help me see things more clearly refocus my mind and everything, but reset is exactly what the name implies. I forget about what’s next, what needs to be done, my journey, everything and just allow my mind to reset. These last few months have been a movie and a movement all at the same time so resetting this time around was a lot different, weight that I carried privately was now being displayed on the news, personal views were now showing peoples true colors while my life is headed down two different paths. I needed to take all that off for a day, an hour hell a minute would be nice at this point, I needed to reset I had to reset.
Resetting is fun, in June this day started on a Sunday, unfortunately I had to work so this process didn’t start until after work and my family zoom call (time is not our friend haha). I started to reset later that day, I made myself a bomb ass meal to kick start, then poured a glass of wine, turned on my music and gave myself a facial. I keep these days simple; I like doing things I can achieve at home because home is my happy place, now for you that may be a little different home can be at the spa or the beach but the way my budget is set up I’ll be home (haha) This time for my reset I chose a facial; I’ve also done essential oil baths (amazing) movie nights where I drink and pass out on the couch, even a family day where I just relax and enjoy time with my family, whatever I can do to relax and just let go I do it and the next morning I wake up refreshed renewed and ready to reflect.
Day two reflect! If you needed a glass to reset bring the bottle for day two (I DO NOT promote alcoholism haha). This process can be done two ways, one with a friend, but a good friend or family; you want someone who is going to listen without judgement. I can spill my guts out to my best friend and she help me walk through my thoughts and give me her opinion but in the end she always says “you know whatever you choose I will always support you” she listen not judge. Now I know everyone is not blessed with such a gem or you’re private which I also am, and you wish for somethings to stay private. Wait until the end of the day find a quiet place and talk. This is where the bottle comes into play, talk to your God or talk to yourself inside your head or out loud just talk.
I reflect on two things, my life and my work, the two most important things in a persons life but also the most stressful. The key to reflecting is to reflect positively, finding the good in the negative and owning it while also seeing where you can grow.
Before I started this process I had a conversation with my mom and I was telling her that all I keep saying is “I don’t know” and “patience” to myself, to people, to the unanswered question in my life everything was “I don’t know” “patience”. Before I could complete my sentence, she stopped me and said not patience endurance you’re enduring (I’ll let her explain why another time ha). When it came time to reflect I thought about what endurance really meant, how it withstands shows strength, as I talked to God and began to pour out that simple name change made me see everything more clearly. I saw my strength where I was saying patience, I saw what I needed to learn. My life and work are making two drastic changes at the same time (insert roll eye emoji!!) and I have no idea what path I’m going to choose. It’s like me and God was taking a jog and we came across a crossroad and he told me to stand still but keep jogging in place and I’m looking crazy like ok what’s next.
In this time of reflecting I’m learning that it is ok to just let life be life for a second. Not knowing doesn’t mean you will never have an answer it just means you’re listening. Listening to the waves listening to where your heart truly tells you to go and just because you’re jogging in place doesn’t mean you’re falling behind; you’re building endurance your building strength. After I do this, I must say I get pretty excited. I see what I need to work on, ideas are swimming in my head on my next move, this is also the time where the bottle comes into play to quiet the mind and drift off to sleep for tomorrow we reconnect!
Day three reconnect! Reconnecting is like NYE all over again, I’m excited I have all these ideas where’s my vision board (Thank God I didn’t do one of those for 2020) I’m ready. This is the time where I remember my journey (Stepping into My New Life link) then I also remember this is 2020 and I picked the wrong year to get my shit together. This is not the life I was talking about all my plans are ruined, I bought a planner for nothing and it was a fancy one might I add. Reconnecting is where I put all those thoughts and aspiration from reflecting into motion, now this year may have posed some challenges with the quarantine and all but “true life is lived when tiny changes occur”- Leo Tolstoy. I’m renewed and refreshed from my reset I know what’s next and the changes I still have to make from my reflect and now I’m ready to reconnect.
The next three months are unknown, we may be shut down again and I pray by the time I use my 3R’s again Breonna Taylor killers will be arrested but “I don’t know”. I’m choosing to jog and listen; I’ve opened my arms and heart to the unknown and know that whatever path I choose my love ones will always support me. I reconnect back to society stronger I reconnect back to my journey wiser, every Idea I had I rework it and think outside the 2019 norm, I reconnect back to me. The ball has dropped and I’m ready to hit the gym with not one clue on if I’ll even be allowed at a gym by next week but I’m ready, my journey is “stepping into my new life” if only I knew what I was Stepping into haha.
Without the 3R’s naming your journey is just like picking your new year’s resolution, all the glory with no work. Taking whatever time you have at the end of every three months helps you see the little things. Usually this process is done at the end of the year when making a resolution, but the scale is too big you can’t see the small things only the big and what if there is not a lot of big positive things happening in your life right now it’s like you have nothing. Scaling that back helps you turn those nothings into something’s. Resetting slows things down creates a calmness. Reflecting creates vision, clarity while Reconnecting creates dreams, passion, fire, refocus. We need these things throughout the year, this is how we become better people, parents, lovers, take the time to relax and pour into you. “Tension is who you think you should be relaxation is who you are” – SaraBeth
Will you be joining me in September with your 3R’s? Don’t forget to like, comment, and share and subscribe to be the first to know when new post drop.
Peace and Blessings!!